note : the * is an indication to tell readers that the perspective of the story has switched to another character.
But then, he's always been like this. In all the years I've known him, I can honestly say, with one hundred percent certainty, that he viewed me as his only true friend. It wasn't like he didn't get along with other people, in fact you would think the opposite. There was no person he couldn't talk to, somehow, someway there would always be something he could talk to you about. But deep down, I could tell that despite being seemingly extroverted, he never really let himself become attached to anybody but me.
Many people who know him would refute what I say because he has shared personal problems with them, but does that really mean he's attached himself to them? I think not. Because as easily as he could talk to anyone about his own personal problems, he could easily move on and find someone else to talk to once that person could no longer fill the need of an open ear. And he knew this too. He found this habit of his to be very parasitic and this disgusted him, but his emotional needs quickly overrode any feelings of guilt within his conscience.
You might wonder then, how is it I know I myself am not like any of these other people who he simply moved on from and my answer would be simple, because once he ran out of people he could talk to, he would find his way back to speaking to me. And despite the personal guilt he felt from all the problems he laid down on me, I would embrace him and try to comfort him.
There is no other person I have known longer than him, and as his best friend I will always be there for him. He knows this, but he hasn't fully understood this fact.
*
My ego, it torments me this very minute. Oh how I knew that this torment would come to be once I fed it and yet... I chose to feed it anyway. Why you might ask did I let this happen? Hope, that is my answer. Despite overwhelming odds against me and knowing the realistic possibilities of what I set out to do, I still chose to do so all because of hope. What hope can do for a poor person like me is limitless. Hope filled my head with dreams, fantasies and fleeting moments of happiness.
Through all this, there was a voice in the back of my head telling me where this winding path would lead to and that I did not want to be there. But I chose to ignore this voice and instead I intoxicated my ego with illusions and fantasies until my mind was numb from the happiness that made my heart race.
But now, reality has set in. I can no longer conjure up those dreams and fantasies anymore and my ego is starving. As it starves it releases its negative waste on my mind as sickening, depressing thoughts begin to swell and warp my mind. With no hope in sight, I now fight a losing battle in my mind as the negative thoughts become overwhelming. I know I need to let it out, but I have no one I can turn to.
That is a lie. I do have one person I can turn to, but I do not wish to turn to him unless I can find no one else. I have always turned to him with my problems when no one else was there and I fear that turning to him once again will only annoy him and push him away from me. I cannot afford that to happen. He is my best friend, my only friend and I value his friendship too much to lose it.
There is no one I can talk to, but as my problem consumes my every thought I become painfully aware of the reason of why things have turned out like this. It's a sad joke, being able to comprehend how one thing led to another, and why this affects that, but then not being able to solve that very same problem. It's a joke really, how this circumstance that seemed so complex was, in reality, nothing more than a problem spawned from a simple desire. And that desire is to be loved.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Tranformers: Rewritten
I've written this mainly because I've seen Revenge of the Fallen now 4 times and am extremely annoyed by the shoddy writing which leaves many inconsistencies with the 1st film.
Far off in a distant galaxy a planet, now known as "Cybertron", is engulfed in an energy blast emanating from a giant cube like relic covered in ancient markings. Seven sentient mechanical beings emerge from the resulting energy blast. These seven beings are what we now call the original "Primes". The seven beings begin their study of the cube, which they have named the "All Spark" and from their studies they learn how to manipulate the energy of the cube, which they call "energon", and eventually begin recording their history within the cube's energies. From here they name themselves, the "Autobots". Thus they begin their work to replicate and reproduce their race.
In the years that followed the "Autobots" flourished and prospered on their home world of "Cybertron" but as with all races, the prosperity and peace did not last. As the population of their race grew the demand for "energon", for which the "Autobots" needed to survive, could not be fulfilled through the energies of the "All Spark" and thus the seven "Primes" began to search out for new sources of "energon". It is here that they look towards the stars of the universe for their new source of "energon". The "Primes" develop a machine that is able to convert a stars into "All Spark" like cubes; however, these artificial "All Spark" cubes could not last as long, nor could they support, as many "Autobots" as the "Primes" has desired and so the need to search out more stars suitable enough for the "Autobots" began. It is here that the "Primes" issued the directive to not convert stars with which nearby planets contained life.
Over time, the "Autobots" began to encounter more and more star systems that contained life and the list of nearby stars without life dwindled as the demand for "energon" only increased. From here the seven "Primes" decide to send out and expeditionary force to find distant stars for more "energon". One "Prime" and a contingent of "Autobots" would be sent to a distant system to find "energon". A "Prime" is selected and he along with a contingent of "Autobots" set out on their journey only to find more and more systems with planets inhabited by life. As the "Prime" receives word that more and more "Autobots" back on "Cybertron" are beginning to suffer from the "energon" shortages, he decides to break the "Prime Directive" of never converting the energy of a sun with which it has a planet filled with life.
The "Prime" and his "Autobot" contingency land on the planet "Earth" where he constructs the "energon" conversion machine. Here he demands for total obedience from his contingent of "Autobots" as he explains his justification for breaking the "Prime Directive". It was either these primitive "humans" or their "Autobot" brethren back on Cybertron. All the "Autobots" agree on a pact of secrecy for this action, except one. This "Autobot's" name was "Jetfire" and he sets out to return to "Cybertron" to report this breaking of the "Prime Directive".
"Jetfire" returns to "Cybertron" and alerts the six other "Primes" of the 7th's betrayal. They now label him the "Fallen". The six "Primes" establish an army to confront The "Fallen" and his contingent of "Autobot" followers.
"Jetfire", the six "Primes" and their army arrive on earth to confront the "Fallen" and his followers and a great war ensues. Shocked at the betrayal of "Jetfire" the "Fallen" pursues him first during the battle and manages to imprison him within the Earth's surface along with the "Matrix of Leadership". However, things are not great for the "Fallen" and his forces as they are greatly outnumbered by the Primes and their forces. The "Fallen" and his forces are eventually subdued and are returned to "Cybertron" to face trial for their crime of breaking the "Prime Directive".
The "Fallen" is exiled and imprisoned on an asteroid and left to drift forever through space while his surviving followers are imprisoned, shut down and buried throughout "Cybertron".
During the post-"Fallen" years the six "Primes" develop a machine that amplifies the "All Sparks" energies thus providing ample energy for the population of "Cybertron"
From there the six remaining "Primes" decide that now is the time to let the new generation of Autobots, their direct descendants, to lead as they themselves set off on their own journey search out the origins of the "All Spark". Originally two candidates were chosen prior to their activation. The first candidate was "Optimus", the direct descendant of the first "Prime". The second candidate was "Megatron", the direct descendant of the "Fallen". The six "Primes" fearing the potential that "Megatron" may one day set out to free his imprisoned ancestor and so they choose "Optimus" to be the future leader of the "Autobots".
Upon their activation "Megatron" and other fellow descendants of the "Fallen" become segregated from the rest of the "Autobot" population. "Megatron" and his brethren are given false reasons for their segregation and are treated poorly by the previous generation of "Autobots". "Optimus" sees these actions as unjust towards "Megatron" and his brethren as they themselves have not done anything wrong. As such "Optimus" attempts to bridge the gap between the segregated cultures and appoints "Megatron" as the high protector of the "All Spark". Despite this new appointment many of the older generation do not look favourably upon "Megatron" clearly favour "Optimus Prime". This causes "Megatron" to resent "Optimus Prime".
It is after this appointment that "Megatron" experiences visions of a transformer imprisoned on an asteroid. "Megatron" sets out to search for this mysterious transformer and eventually is guided towards him. He discovers that the transformer is none other than his ancestor, the "Fallen". Here, the "Fallen" enlightens "Megatron" of how the six "Primes" betrayed him and his descendants and how he was justified in breaking the "Prime Directive". Enraged at this revelation "Megatron" vows to return to "Cybertron" to rally his brethren, overthrow "Optimus Prime" and his "Autobot" comrades and return with the "All Spark" to resurrect the weakened "Fallen". Here he renames himself and his brethren the "Decepticons" as they have been deceived.
"Megatron" and his "Decepticon" forces begin their violent uprising coercing other "Autobots" to either join them or die. "Optimus Prime" musters what forces he can, but the "Decepticons" have already gained control of a large portion of "Cybertron" and are struggling to maintain control of what they have left. "Optimus Prime" knows that the target is the "All Spark" and hides the "All Spark" in a concealed facility. He leaves one of his most trusted commanders in "Bumblebee" along with a small force to guard the facility so as to give the impression that the facility is unimportant. This is meant to buy the "Autobots" enough time to send the "All Spark" into space so as to draw the war away from the planet which has been ravaged by the war.
However, this masquerade fails and "Megatron" becomes aware of the "All Spark's" location and launches his forces to assault the facility. "Bumblebee" and his small force valiantly fight until the very end and are successful in holding the "Decepticons" off until the "All Spark" is launched. "Bumblebee" is severely damaged in the battle as he himself took on "Megatron". "Optimus Prime" and reinforcements arrive on the scene to find "Bumblebee" as the only survivor.
By this time "Megatron" and his "Decepticon" forces abandon the war torn planet and establish a new base on the asteroid where the "Fallen" has been imprisoned. "Megatron" himself leaves ahead of the other "Decepticons" to pursue the "All Spark" and discovers that it has been sent to the planet "Earth". "Megatron" pursues it fanatically and winds up crash landing in the polar ice cap leaving him in a frozen prison until his discovery by "Captain Witwicky" near the end of the 19th century.
Far off in a distant galaxy a planet, now known as "Cybertron", is engulfed in an energy blast emanating from a giant cube like relic covered in ancient markings. Seven sentient mechanical beings emerge from the resulting energy blast. These seven beings are what we now call the original "Primes". The seven beings begin their study of the cube, which they have named the "All Spark" and from their studies they learn how to manipulate the energy of the cube, which they call "energon", and eventually begin recording their history within the cube's energies. From here they name themselves, the "Autobots". Thus they begin their work to replicate and reproduce their race.
In the years that followed the "Autobots" flourished and prospered on their home world of "Cybertron" but as with all races, the prosperity and peace did not last. As the population of their race grew the demand for "energon", for which the "Autobots" needed to survive, could not be fulfilled through the energies of the "All Spark" and thus the seven "Primes" began to search out for new sources of "energon". It is here that they look towards the stars of the universe for their new source of "energon". The "Primes" develop a machine that is able to convert a stars into "All Spark" like cubes; however, these artificial "All Spark" cubes could not last as long, nor could they support, as many "Autobots" as the "Primes" has desired and so the need to search out more stars suitable enough for the "Autobots" began. It is here that the "Primes" issued the directive to not convert stars with which nearby planets contained life.
Over time, the "Autobots" began to encounter more and more star systems that contained life and the list of nearby stars without life dwindled as the demand for "energon" only increased. From here the seven "Primes" decide to send out and expeditionary force to find distant stars for more "energon". One "Prime" and a contingent of "Autobots" would be sent to a distant system to find "energon". A "Prime" is selected and he along with a contingent of "Autobots" set out on their journey only to find more and more systems with planets inhabited by life. As the "Prime" receives word that more and more "Autobots" back on "Cybertron" are beginning to suffer from the "energon" shortages, he decides to break the "Prime Directive" of never converting the energy of a sun with which it has a planet filled with life.
The "Prime" and his "Autobot" contingency land on the planet "Earth" where he constructs the "energon" conversion machine. Here he demands for total obedience from his contingent of "Autobots" as he explains his justification for breaking the "Prime Directive". It was either these primitive "humans" or their "Autobot" brethren back on Cybertron. All the "Autobots" agree on a pact of secrecy for this action, except one. This "Autobot's" name was "Jetfire" and he sets out to return to "Cybertron" to report this breaking of the "Prime Directive".
"Jetfire" returns to "Cybertron" and alerts the six other "Primes" of the 7th's betrayal. They now label him the "Fallen". The six "Primes" establish an army to confront The "Fallen" and his contingent of "Autobot" followers.
"Jetfire", the six "Primes" and their army arrive on earth to confront the "Fallen" and his followers and a great war ensues. Shocked at the betrayal of "Jetfire" the "Fallen" pursues him first during the battle and manages to imprison him within the Earth's surface along with the "Matrix of Leadership". However, things are not great for the "Fallen" and his forces as they are greatly outnumbered by the Primes and their forces. The "Fallen" and his forces are eventually subdued and are returned to "Cybertron" to face trial for their crime of breaking the "Prime Directive".
The "Fallen" is exiled and imprisoned on an asteroid and left to drift forever through space while his surviving followers are imprisoned, shut down and buried throughout "Cybertron".
During the post-"Fallen" years the six "Primes" develop a machine that amplifies the "All Sparks" energies thus providing ample energy for the population of "Cybertron"
From there the six remaining "Primes" decide that now is the time to let the new generation of Autobots, their direct descendants, to lead as they themselves set off on their own journey search out the origins of the "All Spark". Originally two candidates were chosen prior to their activation. The first candidate was "Optimus", the direct descendant of the first "Prime". The second candidate was "Megatron", the direct descendant of the "Fallen". The six "Primes" fearing the potential that "Megatron" may one day set out to free his imprisoned ancestor and so they choose "Optimus" to be the future leader of the "Autobots".
Upon their activation "Megatron" and other fellow descendants of the "Fallen" become segregated from the rest of the "Autobot" population. "Megatron" and his brethren are given false reasons for their segregation and are treated poorly by the previous generation of "Autobots". "Optimus" sees these actions as unjust towards "Megatron" and his brethren as they themselves have not done anything wrong. As such "Optimus" attempts to bridge the gap between the segregated cultures and appoints "Megatron" as the high protector of the "All Spark". Despite this new appointment many of the older generation do not look favourably upon "Megatron" clearly favour "Optimus Prime". This causes "Megatron" to resent "Optimus Prime".
It is after this appointment that "Megatron" experiences visions of a transformer imprisoned on an asteroid. "Megatron" sets out to search for this mysterious transformer and eventually is guided towards him. He discovers that the transformer is none other than his ancestor, the "Fallen". Here, the "Fallen" enlightens "Megatron" of how the six "Primes" betrayed him and his descendants and how he was justified in breaking the "Prime Directive". Enraged at this revelation "Megatron" vows to return to "Cybertron" to rally his brethren, overthrow "Optimus Prime" and his "Autobot" comrades and return with the "All Spark" to resurrect the weakened "Fallen". Here he renames himself and his brethren the "Decepticons" as they have been deceived.
"Megatron" and his "Decepticon" forces begin their violent uprising coercing other "Autobots" to either join them or die. "Optimus Prime" musters what forces he can, but the "Decepticons" have already gained control of a large portion of "Cybertron" and are struggling to maintain control of what they have left. "Optimus Prime" knows that the target is the "All Spark" and hides the "All Spark" in a concealed facility. He leaves one of his most trusted commanders in "Bumblebee" along with a small force to guard the facility so as to give the impression that the facility is unimportant. This is meant to buy the "Autobots" enough time to send the "All Spark" into space so as to draw the war away from the planet which has been ravaged by the war.
However, this masquerade fails and "Megatron" becomes aware of the "All Spark's" location and launches his forces to assault the facility. "Bumblebee" and his small force valiantly fight until the very end and are successful in holding the "Decepticons" off until the "All Spark" is launched. "Bumblebee" is severely damaged in the battle as he himself took on "Megatron". "Optimus Prime" and reinforcements arrive on the scene to find "Bumblebee" as the only survivor.
By this time "Megatron" and his "Decepticon" forces abandon the war torn planet and establish a new base on the asteroid where the "Fallen" has been imprisoned. "Megatron" himself leaves ahead of the other "Decepticons" to pursue the "All Spark" and discovers that it has been sent to the planet "Earth". "Megatron" pursues it fanatically and winds up crash landing in the polar ice cap leaving him in a frozen prison until his discovery by "Captain Witwicky" near the end of the 19th century.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Quick Quotes
"You fall in love with body parts, I connect mentally,
With my female counterpart before we bound physically,"
With my female counterpart before we bound physically,"
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I'm So Weak
My inspiration for this poem came from Beau Sia's "I'm So Deep"
I'm so weak that I can't do 5 straight push ups
I'm so weak that any girl in this audience can probably beat me in arm wrestling
I'm so weak that I have to take a breather after eating
I'm so weak that walking to the bus stop gets me drenched in sweat
I'm so weak because of well... my broken leg
I'm so weak that I'm using my leg as an excuse
I'm so weak that traveling around this city is exhausting
I'm so weak that I give up on a project before I even start
I'm so weak that I lose all focus or thoughts of school as soon as I leave the building
I'm so weak that I rely on friends to decide where I want to go
I'm so weak that I took the easy way out of finishing high school
I'm so weak that I give in to an impulse merely because I have enough cash
I'm so weak that I don't stand up for myself
I'm so weak that I use poetry to voice my thoughts
I'm so weak that I'm probably trembling in the inside
I'm so weak that I take even compliments as insults
I'm so weak that I'll probably rush off stage after I'm done
I'm so weak that I realize my own faults but don't do anything about them
I'm so weak that this poem is merely a variation of I'm So Deep
I'm so weak that I couldn't think of a proper ending to this poem
And there you have it, I'll probably add more to it once I think of more stuff.
I'm so weak that I can't do 5 straight push ups
I'm so weak that any girl in this audience can probably beat me in arm wrestling
I'm so weak that I have to take a breather after eating
I'm so weak that walking to the bus stop gets me drenched in sweat
I'm so weak because of well... my broken leg
I'm so weak that I'm using my leg as an excuse
I'm so weak that traveling around this city is exhausting
I'm so weak that I give up on a project before I even start
I'm so weak that I lose all focus or thoughts of school as soon as I leave the building
I'm so weak that I rely on friends to decide where I want to go
I'm so weak that I took the easy way out of finishing high school
I'm so weak that I give in to an impulse merely because I have enough cash
I'm so weak that I don't stand up for myself
I'm so weak that I use poetry to voice my thoughts
I'm so weak that I'm probably trembling in the inside
I'm so weak that I take even compliments as insults
I'm so weak that I'll probably rush off stage after I'm done
I'm so weak that I realize my own faults but don't do anything about them
I'm so weak that this poem is merely a variation of I'm So Deep
I'm so weak that I couldn't think of a proper ending to this poem
And there you have it, I'll probably add more to it once I think of more stuff.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Beau Sia
Simply put, I love this guy and I wouldn't say he's inspired any of my works but he inspires me to keep going at poetry and try and diversify my work.
Boredom Visualized
So this is just to tell people who do read this, that I do have a second blog now focusing on videos that will hopefully entertain you. Check it out, it's called "Boredom Visualized".
Friday, October 23, 2009
Something I've Been Thinking About
Okay so here's the situation:
Suppose it can be determined whether or not someone has permanent amnesia with absolutely no possible way for the person's past memories to return. With that being said the person who has amnesia is no longer the person all those around them remember. The person is completely different and has a different persona, mannerisms and etc. Now with those details out of the way, let's say someone intentionally caused said permanent amnesia. By causing someone to be in that state of permanent amnesia could that person be charged with "murder"?
Now by most definitions murder is defined as taking away a person's life against their will or killing a human being. With the situation above, causing someone to be in a permanent state of amnesia would fall into the category of murder for me. Now for those reading this you may jump out and say that the person suffering amnesia is still alive, but murder is not defined by bodily destruction, mutilation and etc. It is the act of taking away a life or killing a human being, keyword being well, being.
What I'm getting at is that when someone goes through amnesia they are no longer the same person people have memories attributed to the body the person going through amnesia. Bear in mind that this is under the situation that there is permanent amnesia with absolutely NO chance of the memories returning. Thus the person before the amnesia no longer exists and has, for lack of a better word, died. That life can no longer return and is instead replaced by a new persona. Therefore wouldn't the act of putting someone into that permanent state of amnesia be considered, to be in face, "murder"?.
Just a thought that came to my head mind you, but it's an interesting thought don't you agree?
Suppose it can be determined whether or not someone has permanent amnesia with absolutely no possible way for the person's past memories to return. With that being said the person who has amnesia is no longer the person all those around them remember. The person is completely different and has a different persona, mannerisms and etc. Now with those details out of the way, let's say someone intentionally caused said permanent amnesia. By causing someone to be in that state of permanent amnesia could that person be charged with "murder"?
Now by most definitions murder is defined as taking away a person's life against their will or killing a human being. With the situation above, causing someone to be in a permanent state of amnesia would fall into the category of murder for me. Now for those reading this you may jump out and say that the person suffering amnesia is still alive, but murder is not defined by bodily destruction, mutilation and etc. It is the act of taking away a life or killing a human being, keyword being well, being.
What I'm getting at is that when someone goes through amnesia they are no longer the same person people have memories attributed to the body the person going through amnesia. Bear in mind that this is under the situation that there is permanent amnesia with absolutely NO chance of the memories returning. Thus the person before the amnesia no longer exists and has, for lack of a better word, died. That life can no longer return and is instead replaced by a new persona. Therefore wouldn't the act of putting someone into that permanent state of amnesia be considered, to be in face, "murder"?.
Just a thought that came to my head mind you, but it's an interesting thought don't you agree?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I love these 2
check out their youtube channels for more:
Victor Kim - http://www.youtube.com/user/victorvictorkim
Lydia Paek - http://www.youtube.com/user/JUUKKES
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