Short Story Pilot, pt. 2

note : the * is an indication to tell readers that the perspective of the story has switched to another character.

But then, he's always been like this. In all the years I've known him, I can honestly say, with one hundred percent certainty, that he viewed me as his only true friend. It wasn't like he didn't get along with other people, in fact you would think the opposite. There was no person he couldn't talk to, somehow, someway there would always be something he could talk to you about. But deep down, I could tell that despite being seemingly extroverted, he never really let himself become attached to anybody but me.

Many people who know him would refute what I say because he has shared personal problems with them, but does that really mean he's attached himself to them? I think not. Because as easily as he could talk to anyone about his own personal problems, he could easily move on and find someone else to talk to once that person could no longer fill the need of an open ear. And he knew this too. He found this habit of his to be very parasitic and this disgusted him, but his emotional needs quickly overrode any feelings of guilt within his conscience.

You might wonder then, how is it I know I myself am not like any of these other people who he simply moved on from and my answer would be simple, because once he ran out of people he could talk to, he would find his way back to speaking to me. And despite the personal guilt he felt from all the problems he laid down on me, I would embrace him and try to comfort him.

There is no other person I have known longer than him, and as his best friend I will always be there for him. He knows this, but he hasn't fully understood this fact.

*

My ego, it torments me this very minute. Oh how I knew that this torment would come to be once I fed it and yet... I chose to feed it anyway. Why you might ask did I let this happen? Hope, that is my answer. Despite overwhelming odds against me and knowing the realistic possibilities of what I set out to do, I still chose to do so all because of hope. What hope can do for a poor person like me is limitless. Hope filled my head with dreams, fantasies and fleeting moments of happiness.

Through all this, there was a voice in the back of my head telling me where this winding path would lead to and that I did not want to be there. But I chose to ignore this voice and instead I intoxicated my ego with illusions and fantasies until my mind was numb from the happiness that made my heart race.

But now, reality has set in. I can no longer conjure up those dreams and fantasies anymore and my ego is starving. As it starves it releases its negative waste on my mind as sickening, depressing thoughts begin to swell and warp my mind. With no hope in sight, I now fight a losing battle in my mind as the negative thoughts become overwhelming. I know I need to let it out, but I have no one I can turn to.

That is a lie. I do have one person I can turn to, but I do not wish to turn to him unless I can find no one else. I have always turned to him with my problems when no one else was there and I fear that turning to him once again will only annoy him and push him away from me. I cannot afford that to happen. He is my best friend, my only friend and I value his friendship too much to lose it.

There is no one I can talk to, but as my problem consumes my every thought I become painfully aware of the reason of why things have turned out like this. It's a sad joke, being able to comprehend how one thing led to another, and why this affects that, but then not being able to solve that very same problem. It's a joke really, how this circumstance that seemed so complex was, in reality, nothing more than a problem spawned from a simple desire. And that desire is to be loved.